Choices

So another year down. this one was filled with great memories, accomplishments, and tons and tons of choices. so many things hapened this year, and so many things didnt, that i'm getting more and more excited about what could happen this year. a year ago, from this moment, i woulndt have been able to tell you that i'd be here, where i am. my plans had me with a lamborgini, a six pack, and vacationing with my wife in hawaii. not exactly my plans, but you get the picture. instead, i'm here, having done so much more. i've met a great bunch of students at a ministry called Identity, i've hung out with some awesome pastors and some great youth leaders, and i've made great friends. and this year is gonna be soo much better. i can feel it. maybe i wont tomorrow. maybe i wont a week from now. but right now i know it as much as i know my next breath, there's something amazing about to happen this year. and i cannot wait to see it.

love=Jesus

this weekend we're doing the Christmas County Spelling Bee at church. it's an awesome play with a great message, that Jesus is our everything and that he loves us. that's it. an awesome message in its own right, a truth, that when you think about it, covers all of history, conquers all of humanity, and overcomes everything. God loves you. i had more to write, but now it seems stupid to take away from that truth, so there: Jesus loves you.

Responsibility

One of my all-time favorite superheroes, after the mighty Jesus of course, has always been spider-man. i remember watching old cartoons of him with my friends from the neighborhood, seeing him fight bad guys left and right. come to think of it, there must have been no cops in all of new york, because whenever something happens spider-man always gets there first, does no one call 911 or something?! anyway, he was just cool, and when i was a kid i thought he had the best powers, the coolest bad guys(venom forever) and just everything. as i grew up i learned a really cool new thing about spider-man, a quote that i'd never heard in the cartoons.

With great power comes great responsibility

we have power. great power. God grants us all with the ability to change lives, to heal souls, to better our own selves. If you dont believe me, take a look at the bible. the apostles did soo much, and they didnt even have iphones and computers and cars and all the cool technology we have now.

I know i'm not all that i could be, and i'm not helping out in as many ways as i could. I could give you a really long list at which point you'd walk away thinking we need to kick that jon guy out of church, but what we're not doing isnt the point. no one could do everything, be everywhere, serve in all ministries. but there is so much opportunity for us out there, and i think i'm going to try to be more responsible with the power i've been given. show up when i'm suposed to, and be awesome when i'm suposed to be, because i've got the power. Jesus said so. . .

long sleeves

the weather has been good the last few weeks. a mix of cold mornings and afternoon showers clearly announces the change in seasons. some of my friends have even gone as far to describe a change in the smells, which to my dismay, i must say i have not experienced. much is changing as we begin the season of long sleeves and overcoats, of hats and scarves, of thanksgiving turkey and Christmas carolers. yes, much is changing.

Yesterday the people of this country elected a new president to take the seat of power in the white house. I believe that though we chose a man whom i disagree with on many levels, can and will perform this job to the best of his ability. all in all, i've said it before and i'll say it again: I voted for Jesus. my prayers are with President Elect Obama, and i hope that he serves with integrity and wisdom.

yes indeed much change is ahead, some of it will be good, some of it might be bad, but none of it will be easy. i look forward to seeing what's it all about. . .

the mix. . .

yeah so there was this little hangout time a few of us did over at a tiny church called trinity a few days back. nothing really major happened, no lives were really changed, and honestly i don't really know why we came . . . not.

if you've been around me for more then five minutes in the last couple of days and you've had a pulse, then you've heard me shout the praises of the awesome time i had there. kickin' (do people still say kickin'?) worship and praise dance, a testimonial rap by a brother known as pureblood, and an awesome everything human play only started what would continue to be an awesome night. For those of you who don't know, the mix is a concert held bi-annualy by TCI and it's a fun time, but that's not really why i enjoyed myself i think. A worship service is great, a cool message is great, but an encounter with God is the thing that i needed most, and on friday i had that. God moved and revealed himself to me in ways he hadnt before, and i can honestly tell you it wasnt because of anything the people on that stage or around me did.

now this is the part that might get confusing. Didn't i just say that this was the best thing since sliced bread? that my life was changed through it? that i wish i could go back to it right now? well yeah, i did, and i do. it was great fellowship time, the band was awesome, the pastors said the right things. but none of those things hapened because of the music. i went to the mix expecting God to move mightily and he did. just like when i come to youth on wendesday nights or to church on sunday mornings i expect God to move mightily. now was i a bit louder with it then i was about past sundays, yes, it was fun, and there was a lot more to talk about in the program, but at the end of the day the mix was a way for me to get to God. just like anything i do in worship is a way to get to God. on that night God blessed me mightily because i expected it, and i was seeking it, and i was passionate in that pursuit. and yes, the music was awesome, and the mosh pit was fun, and the testimonies were inspiring, but if my heart wasnt seeking after God, then it could have just as well been just another night, just another mix, just another concert.

As we're going through the passion series, i'm realising a need to be expecting, to be seeking and to be pursuing The Lord. and that when i do that, that's when nights like the mix happen. and if i'd get that excited, that passionate and that desperate about wendsday nights, there is nothing, nothing at all to stop it from hapening there.

Impossible

tonight in Fixated we had a nooma. as we went over the questions and as everyone added their piece of the Spiritual Apple Pie, i kept thinking about something I'd seen in the nooma video. In the video Rob Bell goes over the story of how Peter sees Jesus walking on water. seeing Jesus, peter asks Jesus to call him to join Jesus on the waters. the invitation given, Peter steps out and takes a step into the water and miraculously doesnt sink. i dont know how many steps he ends up taking, but one thing is clear, at some point peter starts sinking. now at this point, peter reaches out for Jesus, and he asks for help, and Jesus answers. and i can only imagine the scene as Jesus looks at peter and asks him why he doubted.

Rob Bell makes the point that a lot of times we dont believe in ourselves enough. I doubt what God can do through me sometimes. the thought of God using me to heal the sick, speak prophecy, speak into someone's life, or walk on water finds my mind answering "NO WAY!" and i let myself believe one more time that i'm not doubting God, my faith just isnt strong enough, or he just hasnt called me and empowered me to do these things. I keep believing that i'm not the hero of the story that God wrote for me because it's easier and i dont have to step out of my shell.

i dont know if i'll wake up tomorrow and start feeling like God can do everything through me. I dont know if i'll wake up tomorrow and realise and understand that all the things he's done, he empowers me to do, and the person that Jesus Christ is the person that i not only want to be but is the person i can be. but this much is fact: I can do All things through Christ who gives me strength. wether that means saying the right words to someone seeking my advice, or controling myself during youth and not being a disruption, or rising to new heights in my personal relatitonship with God. all these arent possibilities. they are not the hopes of someday or the dreams of tomorrow. they are my reality as a Disciple of the Lord, My God.

the impossible is just possible with me in the way. maybe i should move . . .

Being Passionate

Wednesday night was awesome! at least for me, definitely the start to something great, and something tells me it can and will get awesomer. there is no ceiling to what we can do through God and what God can do through us. I'm really looking forward to the next weeks, to what the worship team's going to bring out, to the devotions, to the messages, but more then any of that to us. in the next weeks, something tells me we'll be pushed to go into new and higher places in our relationship with the Lord. I have no idea what PA and Kristin have planned, but im starting to see us going higher and deeper into what the Lord wants for us, and i dont know about you guys but i'll say it again: i'm feeling really excited about the next couple of weeks.

Inspiration (pt. 1)

Yesterday at Fixated we did small groups and hung out and talked about some awesome stuff. one subject we talked about was who was our hero, after jesus, and not including the tv show. Today i started thinking about what inspired me to write, draw, create, to pretty much do more then i usually do. What inspires me to go out of my way to really be part of something or do something more then is required. The easy answer to that question would be the Lord. who else to inspire me but the creator of heaven and earth who yearns to fill all of humanity with his grace and peace and joy. but i found it to be too easy an answer. Don't get me wrong, God inspires me to do many things and to go out of my way all the time. His Spirit fills me and pushes me into and out of things that i woulndt know how to handle on my own. But i guess the real question i was asking myself was "What does God want me to do?" where does he want my energies, my time, my talents and efforts to be invested for His kingdom. God can be everywhere at once and can do all things at once, but i'm limited in that regard. what I can do is nothing in the shadow of what He can do.

I'm enjoying the question though. it reminds me that God's definition of my life isnt "Go to church, go to youth, go to events, give offering, repeat." He wants specific things for my life, and has in mind an exact and perfect way for me to follow them. Now, I dont always stick with that plan, but it's always His goal to bring me back to it. Lately I've been wondering what God's will for my life is. what does he want me to do with what he's given me. right now I dont have the answer. but I know that my service to Him is at the core of it, and that as long as I serve God I'll find out pretty soon.

I got sniped by Halo0004

So yesterday i was hanging out at youth and, as always, a couple of us plugged in halo 2 (now with new maps) and i was dying a lot. now this happens a lot when i'm playing anthony or vincent but a lot of the people i was playing had barely been playing halo at all. i still remember when i'd have to remind them how to shoot (after i found them and shot them of course) and now i'm getting no scope sniped across an entire field. that is a marked improvement. We do that a lot. grow and improve i mean. we dont stay in the same place with anything in our lives for long. we improve our friendships, our sports skills, our everything.

We should be doing the same thing with God, and our relationship with him. we should be constantly refining it and tuning it and making sure it's in the best possible shape we can make it, because what else is or could be more important? But unfortunately, we don't always do what we should. I know i haven't in the past and i probably won't in the future. however, we are all aware of how we should be with God, and if the place we could be at isnt the same place we should be at we shoulndt make peace with it. we shoulndt accept the places we're weak as eternal, and be satisfied with the places we're strong in. we should keep striving, and growing, and getting deeper into God.

Pastor Anthony always defeats me unmercifully at Halo. our first halo match the score was 25-7 . For those of you that dont play, that is really bad. since then i've played and practiced and at our last match he beat me by 25-14 and it's not perfect, it's not even close, but i'm improving and someday i will be faster and stronger. but i wont get there by sitting around and watching everyone else play. I'll get there by practicing, and playing more, and playing stronger opponents, and spending a lot more time with the game then he does.

Someday, I want to be so close to God that i look back at the place i am now and say: man, i am so much stronger now. but i wont get to that place either by looking at everyone around me rise and sitting on the bench. I refuse to let what God wants for and from me pass me by. i'm going to get in the game and rise, and grow and improve. I'm going to keep growing stronger and getting better. but what i will do doesnt matter for you right now. what's going through your heart and your head is what should. so with that i'll leave it at one question: What will you do?

Lunch

So today i had lunch at the church because going home and coming back to class would have been a bit of a hassle. i didnt want crumbs falling in PA's office so i went to the youth room and ate there. now since this was tuesday the Keenagers ministry was in full swing and turns out a lot of the keenagers actually stay and have lunch together and share stories from times past. as i sat there and listened, i started thinking about all the good times i've had in my life that's probably a fraction of theirs. of the awesome experiences i've been blessed to go through, experiences that some people never will go through and some of you guys have shared with me.

Sometimes i worry about the future. about what i'll be doing tomorrow, about how my classes will go, what i'll do for a living once i graduate, will i ever get a car, what will happen to my baby brother when he starts growing up and the list goes on and on. and i often ask God a lot about what i'm suposed to do next, and how he's going to bring me through this dilemma or that. and today as i was thinking about my past, about all the things he'd brought me, my family, my church, my friends, random stories i've heard. and today as i heard some of the keenagers stories, i realised, man He's going to bring me through. so why worry?

Time

Time. You can't get it back, you can't give it away, you can't make more of it. there's never enough, it's always running out, and more and more, it's always booked. There's so much to do these days. From school early in the morning to homework right after, to band practice, to soccer practice, to family time, to all the other stuff. It seems like our lives are spent rushing from one place to another to another, never taking a break, never stopping, because honestly, who has the time?

I used to do that a lot. I'd sacrifice time with friends, family, and most importantly, the Lord just to fit in another club, or another AP class or another something that now seems so unimportant. I even got so busy that i would go to two clubs at once, walking in and out of both to attend the other. I thought that my being in those places somehow counted for something, that being on their roster made me . . . something more then what i was. But every single time when the weekend rolled around all i had to show for it was a pile of homework, unfinished projects and a pound of worry in my mind. and through it all i'd keep hoping and praying for more time.

The book of Ecclesiastes begins with one of my now favorite statements. chapter 1, vs2 "Meaningless! Meaningless! says the teacher, Utterly meaningless vs3 what does man gain from all his labor?" in this verse, King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived looks back at his life and shouts: there is no point. life isnt about work, or practice, or school. all those things at some point are going to be meaningless, they'll fade into a shadow of a memory. want proof? ask your parents what they had for eighth grade math. in case you dont know this yet, no one will care about your GPA after your first job unless you run for president. and that's your college GPA. There's so much more to the life that the Lord has given us. precious moments of fellowship and worship and just being alive.

Sometimes we need to stop. stop and enjoy the moments we've been blessed with. the people we're barely getting to know. the God who loves us so much. there's life all around us, an adventure around every corner, and a new experience right around; but for us to catch those chances, for us to catch up to the time we've been losing, we've got to slow things down and enjoy the moment we have.