Impossible

tonight in Fixated we had a nooma. as we went over the questions and as everyone added their piece of the Spiritual Apple Pie, i kept thinking about something I'd seen in the nooma video. In the video Rob Bell goes over the story of how Peter sees Jesus walking on water. seeing Jesus, peter asks Jesus to call him to join Jesus on the waters. the invitation given, Peter steps out and takes a step into the water and miraculously doesnt sink. i dont know how many steps he ends up taking, but one thing is clear, at some point peter starts sinking. now at this point, peter reaches out for Jesus, and he asks for help, and Jesus answers. and i can only imagine the scene as Jesus looks at peter and asks him why he doubted.

Rob Bell makes the point that a lot of times we dont believe in ourselves enough. I doubt what God can do through me sometimes. the thought of God using me to heal the sick, speak prophecy, speak into someone's life, or walk on water finds my mind answering "NO WAY!" and i let myself believe one more time that i'm not doubting God, my faith just isnt strong enough, or he just hasnt called me and empowered me to do these things. I keep believing that i'm not the hero of the story that God wrote for me because it's easier and i dont have to step out of my shell.

i dont know if i'll wake up tomorrow and start feeling like God can do everything through me. I dont know if i'll wake up tomorrow and realise and understand that all the things he's done, he empowers me to do, and the person that Jesus Christ is the person that i not only want to be but is the person i can be. but this much is fact: I can do All things through Christ who gives me strength. wether that means saying the right words to someone seeking my advice, or controling myself during youth and not being a disruption, or rising to new heights in my personal relatitonship with God. all these arent possibilities. they are not the hopes of someday or the dreams of tomorrow. they are my reality as a Disciple of the Lord, My God.

the impossible is just possible with me in the way. maybe i should move . . .