the mix. . .

yeah so there was this little hangout time a few of us did over at a tiny church called trinity a few days back. nothing really major happened, no lives were really changed, and honestly i don't really know why we came . . . not.

if you've been around me for more then five minutes in the last couple of days and you've had a pulse, then you've heard me shout the praises of the awesome time i had there. kickin' (do people still say kickin'?) worship and praise dance, a testimonial rap by a brother known as pureblood, and an awesome everything human play only started what would continue to be an awesome night. For those of you who don't know, the mix is a concert held bi-annualy by TCI and it's a fun time, but that's not really why i enjoyed myself i think. A worship service is great, a cool message is great, but an encounter with God is the thing that i needed most, and on friday i had that. God moved and revealed himself to me in ways he hadnt before, and i can honestly tell you it wasnt because of anything the people on that stage or around me did.

now this is the part that might get confusing. Didn't i just say that this was the best thing since sliced bread? that my life was changed through it? that i wish i could go back to it right now? well yeah, i did, and i do. it was great fellowship time, the band was awesome, the pastors said the right things. but none of those things hapened because of the music. i went to the mix expecting God to move mightily and he did. just like when i come to youth on wendesday nights or to church on sunday mornings i expect God to move mightily. now was i a bit louder with it then i was about past sundays, yes, it was fun, and there was a lot more to talk about in the program, but at the end of the day the mix was a way for me to get to God. just like anything i do in worship is a way to get to God. on that night God blessed me mightily because i expected it, and i was seeking it, and i was passionate in that pursuit. and yes, the music was awesome, and the mosh pit was fun, and the testimonies were inspiring, but if my heart wasnt seeking after God, then it could have just as well been just another night, just another mix, just another concert.

As we're going through the passion series, i'm realising a need to be expecting, to be seeking and to be pursuing The Lord. and that when i do that, that's when nights like the mix happen. and if i'd get that excited, that passionate and that desperate about wendsday nights, there is nothing, nothing at all to stop it from hapening there.

Impossible

tonight in Fixated we had a nooma. as we went over the questions and as everyone added their piece of the Spiritual Apple Pie, i kept thinking about something I'd seen in the nooma video. In the video Rob Bell goes over the story of how Peter sees Jesus walking on water. seeing Jesus, peter asks Jesus to call him to join Jesus on the waters. the invitation given, Peter steps out and takes a step into the water and miraculously doesnt sink. i dont know how many steps he ends up taking, but one thing is clear, at some point peter starts sinking. now at this point, peter reaches out for Jesus, and he asks for help, and Jesus answers. and i can only imagine the scene as Jesus looks at peter and asks him why he doubted.

Rob Bell makes the point that a lot of times we dont believe in ourselves enough. I doubt what God can do through me sometimes. the thought of God using me to heal the sick, speak prophecy, speak into someone's life, or walk on water finds my mind answering "NO WAY!" and i let myself believe one more time that i'm not doubting God, my faith just isnt strong enough, or he just hasnt called me and empowered me to do these things. I keep believing that i'm not the hero of the story that God wrote for me because it's easier and i dont have to step out of my shell.

i dont know if i'll wake up tomorrow and start feeling like God can do everything through me. I dont know if i'll wake up tomorrow and realise and understand that all the things he's done, he empowers me to do, and the person that Jesus Christ is the person that i not only want to be but is the person i can be. but this much is fact: I can do All things through Christ who gives me strength. wether that means saying the right words to someone seeking my advice, or controling myself during youth and not being a disruption, or rising to new heights in my personal relatitonship with God. all these arent possibilities. they are not the hopes of someday or the dreams of tomorrow. they are my reality as a Disciple of the Lord, My God.

the impossible is just possible with me in the way. maybe i should move . . .

Being Passionate

Wednesday night was awesome! at least for me, definitely the start to something great, and something tells me it can and will get awesomer. there is no ceiling to what we can do through God and what God can do through us. I'm really looking forward to the next weeks, to what the worship team's going to bring out, to the devotions, to the messages, but more then any of that to us. in the next weeks, something tells me we'll be pushed to go into new and higher places in our relationship with the Lord. I have no idea what PA and Kristin have planned, but im starting to see us going higher and deeper into what the Lord wants for us, and i dont know about you guys but i'll say it again: i'm feeling really excited about the next couple of weeks.