You're so. . . You

You're different now. . . you're closer than you've ever been and i havent realised it. i've been looking for you in the places you're not, in the empty and lost things, but that's not where you are. you're here, close, and i'm sorry that i've been quiet. i'm sorry that i haven't gone after you like i should. I'm heavy hearted, almost broken hearted. you take me just like i am though, and today's a new beginning again. Dad, i just want to be close. . . no big words, no dictionary terms, just me, just you, let the world pass by, forget everything that's going on, right now, just let it be me, you and me and you, and let that be it. in the quiet, i can hear your whisper, and in the middle of the crowds, it's all i'll listen for. i've missed you, oh beloved, joy of my heart, song of my soul, drown me in your love, leave no part unsaturated, leave all things you. leave me you. you're so amazing, so past words, bigger then the small tasks i make for myself, you're bigger then my purpose, greater then my will and my ambition, you're YOU. you're so. . .You're so. . .You.

I have run the race . . .

Hebrews 12:1 says: Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

The author of Hebrews begins the chapter by reminding us that we're not alone in this world. He reminds us that the entire world, a world i believe to be thirsty for their God's touch, is watching. It's how every mistake is caught, how every pastor who sins is on the evening news, how every scandal is heard by all. someone was watching. the thing we should remember is that those people are always watching, and though ministries to feed the hungry, clothe the poor, bless children, and provide for widows often go unannounced, they are still seen. they are seen by the people we serve, and love, and care for. these ministries are also seen by their friends and family as they ask "you look better today, what hapened?" they are seen by those who had hardened their hearts against Jesus, and though those hearts don't always melt on the spot, a chip comes off, and the more we love and the more we reflect Jesus, the more pieces of the wall fall until they meet Jesus, the Author and Perfector of our Faith.

this author also reminds us to keep going. to keep running. not to run once in a while, but to continue to grow, to continue opening our hearts to JEsus, that he might finish the work he began.

Let us be reminded of the urgency of salvation, and driven by that urgency, let us run, and run, and run, to keep reflecting Jesus, that those who hunger for him and his salvation might meet him, and join us in this race, and that they too might go home to join he who will bring all this to perfection by his grace.

Being a Good Critic

Lately i've been listening to a few different pastors through online sources, such as their websites, vodcasts, and podcasts. there's quite a few pretty cool teachers out there that love Jesus, serve him faithfully, and are blessed with spiritual and physical growth, and i enjoy listening to people like that. at the end of the day, we all need good teaching and preaching, and though i am bery much satisfied with the teaching at my church, i like to listen to other people while i'm out and about, or around the house.

Now a funny thing i've noticed is that the more influence that these guys are blessed with, it seems like they're blessed with twice as much criticism. every time they get a new insight that they bring to their church, bloggers, and even other church leaders, micero analyze and criticise them. now as i listen to and relisten to these sermons, i've realised a few funny things. first, once in a while these guys say something that's wrong. plain and simply, once in a while, in a one hour sermon, they'll say something that's not completely correct because they're human. once in a while, when i teach sunday school or say something in small group, i realise that i also do the same thing. lesson number one would be that we're all wrong.

the question with being taught and litening becomes how to react to what you suspect to be incorrect teaching, and i would submit to you that you should react to what you think is incorrect the same way you react to what you would assume to be correct. you double check. eveything. true and infallible teaching comes from the bible and from God, and we're blessed with awesome pastors who do a great job, and whom my aim is not to insult, but we as Christians should be growing and learning to feed ourselves. 98.99 percent of the time, our pastors are correct, and honestly, the leftover is dismissable, but it is not God's wish that we would be 98.99 percent correct, but that we be 100 percent correct. if we fear something to be correct, then we should, with humility and grace, approach the bible, see what it says, because sometimes we are wrong. and then humbly approach our pastors, seek out clarification and understanding.

we are not to be self-righteous, even in the things which are righteous, for in this we betray God's truth with our own attempt at correction. and so the message of this confusing story is: read your bible, listen to God, and seek correctness

taking a break from all your worries

all there is, is out of love. creation, in all its wonder was made out of love. love for me, love for you, love from Him. the God of abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. the God we let down, but always lifts us up. the God who loves us perfectly, that we imperfectly love. the God of heaven and earth whose sole desire is our hearts. i wish i was perfect for him, that i could always hit the mark, never miss. but it's too late for that now. but the great thing about grace is that it's eternal, and it came for everything we do. the great thing about his love, the perfect love, is that it never goes away. the great thing about Him is that no matter what, he never lets us go. ever. so i just want to take this moment and worship my God, whom i do my flawed best to love, but who loved me flawlessly first. because he's just so awesome. beyond awesome. he's searched me, he's known my ways, and even when i fail him, i know he loves me. his holy presence surrounds me always, never lets go. and in every season i can know he loves me.

today i felt the need to go deeper with this. i want to bow down and testify to what God has done. he's so awesome and i'm so not, and he loves me, so i want to say it, because i dont say it enough, how grateful i am for his grace. how thankful i am for the cross, for the grave, and for the resurrection.

Hope this works

February 8th, 2009

let this date be marked, forever and ever, in the histories of our children, and their children's children, as a day when the Lord showed up. let it be marked as a day when the Lord's presence was upon his people and his people's hearts were waiting for him. let it be known as a day when our worship rose up to him, and his blessing came down, tenfold of tenfold.

Personally, tonight was amazing for me. I got blessed enough to be part of worship, to play some songs, but more than that, to feel God's presence; a presence of which i am unworthy, but was freely given. I also got to be prayed over, and pray over some, and feel the renewing of God's blessing and grace, as it fell down like torrential waters. my maybe lame attempts at poeticness may seem unsmart to me tomorrow, but through it all, there's just one thing i want to say.

God Showed Up.

Power puff Girls

Happy Birthday, Dr. King. and Happy MLK day to you all that i didnt say that to on that day. i spent the day watching powerpuff girls and Martin Luther King, Jr. Documentaries, with a few episodes of Jon and Kate plus 8. and i had a nice afternoon nap. now i'm not exactly the most in need of sleep person you'll meet, but on behalf of my friends who are sleep deprived, i thought i would catch up and rest well for them. I'm such a great friend. But seriously though, everyone should take some time off once in a while, to live to rest, to pray, to sleep. and of course watch poswerpuff girls marathons.