Goodnight. . .

Today the world lost one of its best. I'll admit i didnt know her too well, but she was one of those you didnt need to know to know. Everyone around her was always happier, always more joyful. She was the best of us, and now she goes into the night, loved by those who knew her, missed by those who loved her.

To you, our sister, our friend

You will be missed

'Ohana

"Ohana means family, Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten"

It's funny how the deepest truths go right over your head the first time you hear them. for the last few months that line is what we've been searching for and fighting for at the Bonfire. In the Hawaiian language, that word, that anyone who's seen "Lilo and Stitch" might recognize implies something deeper then mere blood relation. Family is more than sharing a few Chromosomes, it's going through pain and joy together, losing and gaining ground together, and honestly a whole lot more together. I'm learning that to fight for family means to die for family. it means giving up pre-eminence and pride, risking respect and admiration, laying bare that which most would recommend stay hidden for the chance that another would reciprocate. It means to take on the fights of others like they were your own, to lock arms in battle with the unknown.

But i'm also learning that the sacrifice is more than worth it, in the eyes of my brothers and my sisters i see it as more than worth it.

'Ohana means family, Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.

In the quiet . . .

A few weeks ago i got to go to this awesome school called SCSL. (South Carolina School of Leadership) i met people whose hearts were devoted unto the Lord through their brokenness. they weren't perfect, but all of them made their best to reflect the love they'd been given. they were my brothers and my sisters after a day, my family after a weekend, blood to blood and heart to heart. We didn't share experience, we didn't journey together, at least not yet, but in their eyes i saw something that i really want for myself. see, I believe that in the coming days there will be and is a new Christian being born, one who embraces love with a desperation to make the apostles rise and take notice, the prophets of old stand and be amazed. they are not described by age, style, but by the love and blood. They are Apostle, as was in the days of old, drenched and made in the fire of the spirit and the blood of Christ, each and every one forged to great purpose, to great power. There is no small feat for them, no small battle, because they understand that each choice is a win or a loss for God, and they are willing . . .

They have made the choice to pay the price, to give up even their own lives, and no, not to die. for to die is easier than to suffer through temptation and sin, through pain and loss, through all that is of and in this world. They are moving now, and I have seen them, rising as one, and the echo of their heartcry goes through the earth. I have seen them, and though i believed before I saw, now I have seen, and know it is beyond possible. It is necessary.

and still to be like them is not my goal, to be where they are not my desire. Christ is my goal, to love him more my desire, to be like him my gift, to lose myself in the trade nothing. this is the heartcry of those born of love, those who are willing to move past want to will, past might to have, past the cozy cages of pews and sunday services into the freedom of pain and blood and love. for all there is is God, and all He is is love.

I'm sorry for not making any sense with any of this, but at the heart of it is this. I'm not worth it, i'm not there yet, i'm not a mighty man of God. but i want to be, and i'm moving into it. it might take me a thousand years, let it be as Christ wants it, but i choose to move into the place of Grace. I choose to be what God wants me to be, and to have the heart he wants me to give. I surrender my cage of creature comforts, my life of three a day meals and air conditioned nights, my cable tv, and my 24/7 facebook pass. I want to embrace the sacrifice

Who is there like the Lord? He is called maker of heaven and earth, the depths and all that inhabit them. He is to be both feared and exalted, He is both awesome to behold and beyond belief, He is God. truly, inescapably God, beyond power, beyond majesty, beyond the consciousness of man, beyond all that could be described. He is God. A living contradiction, holder of all power, strong beyond any king or kingdom, yet servant and lover are his favorite names. to behold him is to realize the smallness of us, to see him as he is is to forget our own pain, for he loves us with a passion that he never denies, with a passion that he cannot forget. and as foolish, and selfish, and broken, and sinful, and evil we are, he is more gracious, more than gracious, more than loving, more than kind, more than merciful, He is love. love which we lack. love which i need. love which you have given freely and abundantly.